Shitlist 2/11/26
this shit stinks
Eleven days into February and I’d like to believe that I am hitting some sort of stride. Which is to say that I’m either going numb, or I’m purely in survival mode. The good thing is… Okay, there’s is no good thing. Let’s just get to it.
For this list I went with a whole bunch of songs by rich and famous people who seem to think that being rich and famous means they can make good music. Spoiler Alert: they can’t. It’s hubris on blast and we are its hapless victims. Well, I am, anyway.
So who am referring to?
Manny Pacquiao? Check
Deion Sanders? Check
The New York Mets? Yep
Carl Lewis? Uh huh
John Daly? I mean, natch
But it’s not all about jacked-up knuckle draggers, oh no. We’ve also got songs by reality stars, people who are good at nothing at all! Kelly Osbourne? Yep! Got her!
A few actors drop in and crap all over the place, such as Kristy McNichol as well as Pia Zadora, and both songs are cataclysmically terrible. Warwick Davis gets two spots because I had to include his rap and his Christmas song. I mean, how the fuck was I supposed to leave either out?
And as always, I included some songs that I think are marginally better than a choir comprised of clubbed seals. Train, Pitbull, a tragic Grateful Dead steamer, the execrable Goo Goo Dolls, and Beyonce carping about how she wants her man to be like her Daddy. Gross.
Anyway, on with it…
“(The Last Game of the Season) A Blind Man in the Bleachers” David Geddes
“Last Train” Yes
“Samba in the Rain” Grateful Dead
“Hey Soul Sister” Train
“Troll 2 - The Na Na” Carlo Mario Cordio
“Back in Time” Pitbull
“Cry Baby” Jamie Lynn-Sigler
“Leprechaun in the Hood - Rap” Warwick Davis
“Merry Christmas Everyone” Warwick Davis
“It’s Wrong for Me to Love You” Pia Zadora
“Pumpin’ and Blowin’” Kristy McNichol
“Yoga is as Yoga Does” Elvis Presley
“Iris” Goo Goo Dolls
“Daddy” Beyonce
“I’m an Island Boy” Island Boys
“I’m Hot” Angelina Pivarnick
“Stripper Friends” Tila Tequila
“Superficial” Heidi Montag
“Papa Don’t Preach” Kelly Osbourne
“My Heart Belongs to Daddy” Anna Nicole Smith
“Roundball Rock” John Tesh
“Must be the Money” Deion Sanders
“K.O.B.E.” Kobe Bryant
“Ram It” LA Rams
“(I Know I Got) Skillz” Shaquille O’Neal feat. Def Jeff
“Get Metsmorized” New York Mets
“Hugs Not Drugs” The Tall Boys (Atlanta Hawks)
“Break It Up” Carl Lewis
“I Found It” John Daly
“Sometimes When We Touch” Manny Pacquiao ft. Dan Hill
keepin’ it real bad Buy your old Uncle John a coffee, why don’t you? This shit is doing me in.
