Shitlist 2/6/25
it's Friday, Friday, Friday, ahhhhhh fuuuuuck
Six days into this exercise and I am realizing that a month is a long time. Even if that month is only going to be counted during weekdays, the toll will be massive. It has already proven to be so. Only the ancient, slumbering Cthulhu knows the impact a month of terrible music will have upon my fragile mind, and I can only hope that the spiraling pit of black from which I plunge will also envelope him, entombing his eons of hatred down in the endless void of my madness.
As for today’s shitlist, we open with a notorious little misstep in David Bowie’s otherwise illustrious career (mostly). “The Laughing Gnome” has its charm, and is hardly in the same neighborhood of what I consider terrible. But given that this is the same dude responsible for the Album “Low,” he gets no pass for this painfully British attempt at novelty.
Once again, I dip my toes in the murky waters of political propaganda music with the execrable “We Are Charlie Kirk,” which is pandering, stupid, and outright terrible in the worst way.
Former reality creep and current adult entertainer, Farrah Abraham, gets the nod today, as does the methed-out, bro-ish soul-crushingly awful “Smack my Bitch Up,” which tries and succeeds to be the sonic equivalent of misogyny married with a drum machine.
Everyone’s favorite terrible “singer” Leonard Nimoy contributes his terribly illogical “The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins,” that no one (re. everyone) was asking for.
We wallow in the mire of cover songs with the explicitly Zionist and feckless Disturbed as they render Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Sound of Silence” into a moron-friendly moody-by-numbers pile of utter dreck.
Raunchy gay anthem, “Ram Ranch” gets a spin here because it sounds hilarious to me, as does a lesser known Styx abomination.
We take a short trip to Europe to sample some classic electronic dance pop trash, and then get lectured by a tone deaf Van Morrison on why vaccines are bad.
I drop in the infamous crabcore band Attact Attack’s song that ruined my mind in the mid 2000’s, some weak attempts at building bridges with Brad Paisley and LL Cool J performing together, plus a handful of other gems.
I close the week out on a note of hope. A note of hope as seen through the eyes of a handful of ivory tower millionaire celebrities hubristically covering Lennon’s “Imagine” with not even a hint of irony at how empty they are inside.
Enjoy your weekend!
2/6/26
“The Laughing Gnome” David Bowie
“Honey” Bobby Goldsboro
“The Christmas Shoes” NewSong
“Diary of an Unborn Child” Lil’ Markie
“We Are Charlie Kirk” Spalexma
“After Prom” Farrah Abraham
“The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins” Leonard Nimoy
“Smack my Bitch Up” The Prodigy
“The Sound of Silence” Disturbed
“Ram Ranch” Grant Daniel MacDonald
“Plexiglass Toilet” Styx
“Agadoo” Black Lace
“The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)” Ylvis
“A Decade in Blue (Da Ba Dee)” Eiffel 65
“Ich find’ dich Scheiße” Tic Tac Toe
“Caneta Azul” Manoel Gomes
“I Am a Wild Party” Kim Mitchell
“Total Xanarchy” Lil Xan
“Born to be Free” Van Morrison
“Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” Trace Adkins
“Thunder” Imagine Dragons
“Stick Stickly” Attack Attack!
“Also sprach Zarathustra” The Portsmouth Sinfonia
“I’m Caillou (Caillou theme song)” Jeff Zahn
“Accidental Racist” Brad Paisley feat. LL Cool J
“About a Girl” Puddle of Mudd
“Kryptonite” 3 Doors Down
“Headstrong” Trapt
“Baby Hugh Hef” Fieldy’s Dreams
“Imagine” Gal Gadot & Friends
For the love of all things unholy, please buy me a coffee…